So, with my last post, I ended with some thoughts that I think are important. Well, in case you don't know me that well, I can be a hypocrite sometimes. Heck, we can ALL be hypocrites sometimes. What I'm talking about is the first line in the last paragraph I posted. The one about not dwelling on the past.
It's hard not to, for anyone. It's just so easy to think about things that have gone by. Jokes, fond memories, anything really. Only recently have I been thinking back. And I've come to this conclusion. (If you people who are reading this have any clue what exactly I am talking about, feel free to talk to me about it. I won't stop you)
Don't let something that you love so much, that literally makes everything in your world so right, get away. So what if there are differences. EVERYTHING has an opposite. Light, dark. Cold, hot. Heaven, Hell. EVERYTHING SINGLE THING IN THIS WORLD. But, differences are a part of life. They create struggle, which is yet another part of life that we have to deal with.
Now, I'm not saying everything you leave behind you in the past is like this. No way. If you can live without it, then you don't need it. But if you go a couple of months without this, and then realize 'Man, what happened to my life? It was so perfect and now, even though it's still great, there's a HUGE element of it missing!'. Don't lose hope. Go back for it. Fight for it. Know that without it, your life would never be the same.
With that said, I'm struggling between figuring out if the element that I'm thinking of is a part of my life that I miss so dearly that I keep shoving it out of my head, hoping never to think about it again and to just move on in life, or if the element is just something I miss but don't really need it.
Either way, I know I want it back. My only option now is to pray about it and hope God can lead me in the right direction in this decision.
Sunday, September 21, 2008
Wednesday, September 10, 2008
Reflections 9/10
So, I've come to the conclusion that I am horrible at updating this. (If you are reading this on Facebook, it gets transferred onto here from my blog on blogspot)
Life has been fairly good so far. All of my classes are going good. And it's not been hard work in them yet, which is a good thing. I am happy. For the most part. The only thing that's missing is something that I struggle with every day. Do I want it? Do I not? I don't know. I don't care to an extent. I miss that one factor. It became for integrated into my life that for these past months now, I've felt like I'm not whole. That I'm not my entire self.
No, it's not anything bad. It's not an addiction of anything. It's just the fact of being....*sigh* I don't know how to put it really. The companionship I guess is what I would call it. That one person I can trust, no matter what. Who is always there for me. It's hard. Going from that part of your life where everything was just so right. Only to end up having your own personal view of life clashing with that one person's view. That single view tears it all apart. It goes all Hurricane Katrina on it. Destroys it.
I'm glad I had that change of view. It's made me who I am right now and who I'm becoming. But of course I'm sad that things have changed for me. Even though I like change. Constantly I am praying for God to show me a sign. That I will find a remedy for this pain. Soon maybe, I dunno.
I end this note throwing random thoughts together.
Don't dwell on the past, though it's hard not to. Live for the present, though don't make stupid mistakes that you will dwell on later. Think about the future, but not too hard, cause if you do you will being thinking about it so much and possibly miss something important in the present.
Everything happens for a reason. Get used to it. Later on you will realize that everything, even your mistakes, the bad moments, the darkest places you have been in life, makes you smarter, stronger, more able to adapt to things happening around you. Seize the day. Though it's alright if you don't do it every day. It's nearly impossible to every day. There will always be those days where you will be down and out. And that's okay. Everyone has those days. It's normal. But don't let those days guide your thoughts and lead you down a bad place.
Life has been fairly good so far. All of my classes are going good. And it's not been hard work in them yet, which is a good thing. I am happy. For the most part. The only thing that's missing is something that I struggle with every day. Do I want it? Do I not? I don't know. I don't care to an extent. I miss that one factor. It became for integrated into my life that for these past months now, I've felt like I'm not whole. That I'm not my entire self.
No, it's not anything bad. It's not an addiction of anything. It's just the fact of being....*sigh* I don't know how to put it really. The companionship I guess is what I would call it. That one person I can trust, no matter what. Who is always there for me. It's hard. Going from that part of your life where everything was just so right. Only to end up having your own personal view of life clashing with that one person's view. That single view tears it all apart. It goes all Hurricane Katrina on it. Destroys it.
I'm glad I had that change of view. It's made me who I am right now and who I'm becoming. But of course I'm sad that things have changed for me. Even though I like change. Constantly I am praying for God to show me a sign. That I will find a remedy for this pain. Soon maybe, I dunno.
I end this note throwing random thoughts together.
Don't dwell on the past, though it's hard not to. Live for the present, though don't make stupid mistakes that you will dwell on later. Think about the future, but not too hard, cause if you do you will being thinking about it so much and possibly miss something important in the present.
Everything happens for a reason. Get used to it. Later on you will realize that everything, even your mistakes, the bad moments, the darkest places you have been in life, makes you smarter, stronger, more able to adapt to things happening around you. Seize the day. Though it's alright if you don't do it every day. It's nearly impossible to every day. There will always be those days where you will be down and out. And that's okay. Everyone has those days. It's normal. But don't let those days guide your thoughts and lead you down a bad place.
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